This week is filled with activities (presentation, quiz, test, another quiz, meeting) but I still feel a sense of incompleteness… Although I’m happy I’ve started doing my arts/crafts again, I feel like it’s because I’m keeping busy in order to mask anything else that could possibly happen. Actually I know it’s true. I started this rather expensive hobby of mine again because I don’t want to sit around doing nothing & feeling empty after school.
I always need something to look forward to. So I’m doing it again. I applied to study abroad again. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that right? I don’t even know if I am going for sure because I’m supposed to graduate this summer. But I’ll meet with my counselors & figure it out. All I’m saying is that it won’t hurt to apply.
Arts & crafts . Study abroad . Those two things should keep me from feeling empty for the next 6 months. I also want to start sending friends more care packages. I realize I know a lot more people away from home than at home so I’d like to start up the whole snail mail communication route again. I make fabulous care packages.
I really wish I had a pet to pour all of my love & energy towards… but I don’t think I should get another pet if I plan on leaving again in 6 months. Lucifurr Kwon Sang Vu is out there somewhere… on an extended hunting trip.
Even shopping can’t cure my emo-ness this time… I walked through the mall today ready to spend… but everything I picked up & looked at seemed bland. It wasn’t calling to me like it used to…
I’ve got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I’m emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I’m missing
And why can’t I let it go
There’s gotta be more to life…
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I’m…
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it’s life, but I’m sure… there’s gotta be more
Than wanting more
I’ve got the time and I’m wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I’m half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I’m searching for something that’s missing